10 telltale signs you’re at a CAMRA beer festival:

The following list has been compiled with lots of love:

1 – You realise the only difference between a fat bloke aimlessly wandering around with a pint in his hand and a CAMRA steward is the donning of a fluorescent bib.

2 – Hipsters weren’t the first to display well cultivated facial hair in public. CAMRA members have a 40 year lead on the Gandalf look. They all dye it white.

3 – It isn’t important to worry about your BMI. Whatever your size you are you’ll be skinny in the local CAMRA crowd. Just let it all hang out.

4 – You realise that when beer is concerned, a man weighing 22 stones can develop superpowers that enable him to scale 3 tiers of racking to tap a cask on the top layer.

5 – It doesn’t matter how drunk you get, you won’t be as pastellated as the folk behind the bar or the patrolling stewards.

6 – There’s a raffle going which includes the glasses you got rid of from the last few beer festivals.

7 – Some of the casks have already run out before any member of the public has had a chance to sample them.

8 – You can turn up in the clothes you slept in.

9 – You order a half pint and are rewarded with roughly 600ml of liquid.

10 – Whichever brewery has the town name in the title wins beer of the festival.

Did I miss any out? CAMRA beer festivals rule!

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